Yesterday, we had one of our best friends come out to the house to help out. We've been so busy working on finishing up the house to get it on the real estate market that a number of things have, unfortunately, gone by the wayside. Chicken houses and the rabbit house are a few of these things.
So our friend B came out, bringing her 3 and 4 year old kids with her. It was warm (92ish), but living in the south we are all pretty used to the warm weather.
What we weren't used to, and it was pretty apparent that their mom wasn't either, is just how soft her children, even at that age, really are. And I don't mean that they are soft because they were hot. No, they are soft in that within 15 minutes of looking at the animals they wanted to go inside and watch TV. Yes, TV. At 3 and at 4 years old. Their mother was firm - they had come to work and help out. I have never seen so many tears and heard so much bellyaching in my entire life!
Our friend was firm and kept them out there for over an hour (in the shaded and fanned rabbit house), working beside her until the first water break. They came in telling me how hard they were working, but by the end of the break when mom announced it was time to get back to work, oh lord did the water works begin!
This scene played itself out at least once more before they finished the rabbit house and headed for home. What struck me, and their mom, is just how lazy the kids are, even at that age. They expect, already, to be catered to and to have their every demand waited on hand and foot.
At one point, the four year old boy asked why they had to work. Mom said it was because I needed help, and he missed not a beat and said "then why do I have to do it?". Later, the same child was watching my husband staining the front deck and asked what his Uncle C was doing. I told him that he was working. "But it's hot" he said. So I explained to him that when things need to be done you just need to do them, no matter how hot it is. We really couldn't get him to understand, and he summed up his opinion of the whole thing for us pretty nicely. "I don't like to work. It's too hard."
Yes boy, sometimes work is hard. But just who do you think is going to do it if you don't?
And I don't mention this to make my friend sound like a bad mother. She isn't. I think she does a fantastic job considering that she is the breadwinner of the household (as a teacher), and also tutors and helps run a program for disadvantaged youth. Truly, she burns her candle at both ends for most of the year and I admire her all the more for it.
What I'm saddened by, is just how engrossed the kids are in the TV and with the entitlement attitude. Her kids are not alone - I have four nephews that are no better.
The eldest stayed with us for an entire summer two years ago at the age of 12. We spent the first couple weeks just getting him to understand that it was his job, not mine to put his dishes in the sink and pick up his clothes, and that in my house there are consequences for not doing chores. He was also not allowed more than a couple of hours of TV per day (it was summer, and it WAS hot), and that video game time was not a separate entity but part of his daily TV allowance. These were hard pills to swallow, but he got it, and soon he was not only participating around the farm, but doing most of the morning poultry chores and the weekly lawn mowing by himself. He was also quick to get into the habit of the daily house chores and would bring out the vacuum on Friday afternoon without being asked. By the time he left us he had pride in himself, some drive, and some color from this thing we've taught kids to fear called the sun.
(Of course, he went back at the end of the summer and quickly went back to old routines. I mean, if your parents are going to do it for you, why not let them?)
The second child, who was 8 when we visited with them all at Thanksgiving, barely put his video games down to speak with any of us. He had to be told several times to put it down even for dinner, and even then it was with great sulking and unhappy looks. We visited for two days, and that was pretty much our entire interaction with him, except for the one fifteen minute conversation where he tried to explain to me the ins and outs of Pokémon. By the end of our discussion I was even more confused and he returned to his game looking exasperated. Apparently I am just not cool enough to converse with. What can I say?
These kids aren't alone. My husband teaches jiu jitsu, and has several children that have absolutely no work ethic. These are kids that are 4, 6, 10, 12 years old. They complain about warm ups. They whine about drills. They screw around and don't listen. And the parents? Well, they are often times no where to be found because they've dropped them off and run away for an hour to themselves. I mean, who wants to listen to that complaining all the time.
I don't know how this has happened, but I see it everywhere. Kids that can't put down the phone or the video games. I have three dozen kids in my neighborhood and you never see any of them, even out here in the country. Go into Wal-mart and look around. How many of you had tans when you were a kid - just the usual product of riding bikes and playing outside. These kids are pasty and, oftentimes, fat. I guarantee you can't make it all the way through the store without hearing at least one "I want" or a full on tantrum.
It's sad and it's absurd. Lazy, pale, fat, and at least a bit anti-social. Is this who we are now, cause it's certainly where we are heading with our next generations.
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